Hyper-Charismatic Abuse

There is a marriage problem in hyper-Charismatic circles.

These marriages are frequently abusive, and the women don’t seem to notice. Or perhaps they notice the behaviour but rationalise it.

It’s a chicken and egg situation: are their marriages abusive because they see the world in super-spiritual terms, or do they see the world in super-spiritual terms because their marriages - and other parts of their lives - are so painful?

I’ve known a woman to hold out hope for decades that her husband, who left her a few years after their marriage and the birth of their children and took up with another woman, will return to her. She was unusually attractive and I have no doubt could have married someone else. But no, the American televangelist was giving her a message from God that her husband would be “restored” to her.

I’ve known a woman to be kind and gracious to her husband, staying up late to prepare him supper and rising early the next morning to put together a bowl of cereal and fruit and to make him a hot drink, only for him to publicly snap at her and tell her she was wrong about a trivial matter and then, when she proved to be right, offering no apology.

I’ve known a woman to stay with an addict because he claims to be a Christian. Her refusal to leave him means that she no longer sees her adult children and her grandchildren, but she believes that she is doing the right thing by not divorcing him. She is pretty and has a sweet disposition. It’s likely that she could marry elsewhere if she wanted to, but instead she shoulders this “cross” with the air of a person suffering for righteousness’ sake.