Dear Diary, Entry 1

Dear Diary,

Today I saw Philip. Apparently, he’s married a Filipino woman who’s thirteen years younger than himself. What he did with his first wife I can only imagine – and imagining I am, of course. I’d like to think he left her because she couldn’t measure up to me. Of course, if that were the case wouldn’t he have reached out to me rather than moving onto someone else without even testing the waters?

His new wife seems sweet and perfectly harmless, but really. Philip’s an intelligent man. Isn’t he embarrassed by his situation? Maybe he avoids all our old friends. Maybe all his friends nowadays are his wife’s young Filipino friends.

Well hey, if he’s happy what’s it to me? It’s not like I want him. God knows I was wrapped up in him for years, but that’s far behind me now. I’m much better off than him relationship-wise. I hope it’s not the case, but I suspect his wife isn’t a soulmate. I don’t mean to be awful, but her English is not advanced and as I said he’s highly intelligent and capable of deep and complex conversation, which I simply don’t believe she could understand, never mind engage with.

I used to have a lot of sex dreams about Philip. It’s been a few years since the last one. They used to cause me so much guilt even though of course they were involuntary.

On another note, I’m annoyed with the girls who live down the back. The way one of them zipped down the driveway yesterday in her sporty little car gave me a flash of rage. Young, white, rich, entitled. Unless she’s utterly self-absorbed, she must be aware that there are young children who play in the driveway almost every day. Sure, it’s not the ideal play spot, but there’s no alternative around here. I just know that when she has children of her own, she would be irate if anyone put them at risk.

That’s enough gossip for today. Talk later.